I Know
by Kandell
Summary: Bored. And Thor   Or more appropriately, Loki   on the brain. Just some fluff/crack for you guys. From the author formerly known as zutarataang4eva.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So I've watched Thor two or three times this weekend, and I've been vegging out on Thor fanfiction, so I felt the need to give it a shot. Like, a one or two shot. So this may have a second chapter, may not. I just really wanted to get this posted. Remember, reviews are love! 3

It was night, and Darcy was on her way back to the lab. She had spent the earlier part of the evening at Izzy's, on a date with a local boy.

It hadn't ended well.

So now Darcy was walking by herself. She pulled her jacket closer around her body, exhaling in the chilly night air. She would never understand how New Mexico could be so cold. I mean, it was so close to the equator and junk, right? Darcy shook her head, moving her thoughts back to the night's previous events.

"So I was all 'Guys! I'm open! I'm open!' and waving my arms all over the place. Finally Jimmy saw me, and he threw the ball. It was like everything moved in slow motion, I swear to God. And I caught it, and ran and made the winning touchdown," her date, a very attractive young man from Puento Antiguo, leaned back, arms on the table, smile stretching from ear to ear.

"Wow. Great story," Darcy blinked back to attention. She had been staring at him, yes, but she hadn't been listening at all.

"I know right?"

_Jeez_, Darcy thought, _This guy is like Jason Stackhouse._

"So you work with that Foster lady, right?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded absent mindedly.

"She's a strange one," he chuckled. "I mean how dumb do you have to be to think worm holes and all that junk are real?" Darcy gaped. Had he seriously said that? She knew for a fact that he had been in town when Thor arrived and all the fighting went down.

"So you're saying Jane's dumb, then?"

"Well yeah. Lady's got her head so far up in the clouds she probably can't even remember what ground looks like."

That was it. Darcy casually reached into her purse, clutching her tazer. She forced a smile and a small chuckle, sliding the tazer out just enough to aim it at her date's chest.

And she pulled the trigger.

Darcy kicked a stone on the sidewalk, which bounced and rolled a few feet further ahead….Into someone leg. The leg was sticking out of a dark alley.

"Oh god, please be attached to a body," she mumbled, her voice high and shaky. She slowly stepped around it to glance into the alley. "Oh thank god." Before her, on the ground, was a tall man. He was attractive, with pale skin and dark hair. He was dressed formally and his chin-length hair was slicked back. It was like he had stepped out of an old movie or something.

"Hey," she nudged his leg. The other one, she noticed, was folded up closer to his body. "Hey," she repeated, louder this time. He still didn't respond. "You better not be dead," she mumbled. She knelt down next to his torso and nudged him with her hands. Again, he was unresponsive. So rather than just push him again, she reached to feel his neck for a pulse.

But his eyes snapped open and he caught her hand just before her slender fingers reached her neck. Darcy jumped at his touch, which felt just a breath warmer than ice, and she pulled her hand away.

"Where am I?" he spoke in a crisp, British accent.

"New Mexico," she replied.

"New Mexico?"

"Yeah. In the U.S. So if you were aiming for Canada I'm afraid you're too far South. Way too far."

The man stood up and Darcy gaped at his height. She could tell that he was tall when he was laying on the ground but standing, he dwarfed her five foot five height.

"Jesus, man, you're a freaking giant." He was at least six foot four, Darcy guessed. At least. He took a step out of the alley and Darcy followed, watching warily as he buttoned up his black wool coat.

"I require an inn, or some other form of lodging," he announced.

"Well there _was_ a motel on Main Street, but it was totaled when a giant metal robot blew it up," she shrugged. The man's brow furrowed in disappointment. Darcy thought for a moment- Erik was out of town working with S.H.I.E.L.D. on some project, and Jane was at a physics conference in Miami. That left Darcy to watch the lab all by herself, with an extra bedroom.

"If you need a place to crash, you can stay with me I guess. As long as you're not a serial killer or something. Cuz in that case I would have to taze you."

The man turned, looked her up and down, and sighed, looking away again, "That will be suitable." Darcy rolled her eyes. Were all British guys so rude?

"C'mon, it's this way." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the lab, not noticing his surprised expression.

They arrived at the lab and Darcy unlocked the door, leading him inside.

"Mi casa is su casa," she threw her arms to the side, a ridiculously grand gesture considering the cozy quarters she was introducing him to.

"Casa?" he shot her a quizzical glance.

"Wow. And I thought England had a better education system than we did."

The man ignored her and strode through the lab, his eyes grazing over various pieces of equipment. Darcy tossed her purse onto the kitchen counter and opened a cabinet.

"Hey, are you hungry, Mister….?"

"Lok-"

"Luke? Gotcha. Y'know that's what my dog was named. He was a black lab. You kinda look like him."

"Excuse me?"

"But I always called him Lulu, cuz I refused to acknowledge him as a boy since he'd been neutered." She grabbed a pack of poptarts out of the pantry.

"My name is not Luke."

"But you just said-"

"I said my name is Loki." Darcy could've sworn his eyes, which were a deep shade of green, flashed brighter and faded.

"Loki? That's weird. Must be a British thing. What does it mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything. Loki is the name of a Norse god-"

"Oh sweet! Y'know I'm not an expert, but I know quite a bit about Thor. Y'know the god of thunder. With the meow-meow."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah he likes poptarts and waffles. And coffee."

Loki stared at her, mouth parted slightly and eyes just barely narrowed in confusion.

"Well it's getting kind of late, so I guess I'll go to bed," Darcy walked to her door, but paused and turned back to face Loki. "That's your room," she pointed behind him. "See you in the morning."

Darcy woke up at about noon. The nice thing about the weekends was definitely sleeping in. She stood and stretched, pulling on a silky robe and trudging to the kitchen to make coffee. She was halfway through her second cup when she remembered the stray she had taken in.

"Waky waky, dude!" Darcy threw the door open. Loki, who had been sleeping quite peacefully, went rigid at the sudden intrusion.

"What on Midgard-" Darcy ignored him and walked to the window, throwing open the drapes. Harsh light spilled in, coating Loki's upper body in warm but visually scarring brightness. He growled and threw the covers over his bare chest, shoulders and head, shrinking away from the window.

"Jesus, man, you're such a pansy. Just come out when you're ready, I guess," Darcy nudged his feet roughly as she left the room. How could a grown man act like such a baby about sunlight?

It wasn't until that evening, when the sun had retreated to the other side of the house and away from the kitchen and living room's windows, that Loki emerged from his room. He was showered and dressed in black and green, and looked far too professional for such a small town.

"You're a little old for prom, don't you think?" Darcy commented as she pulled an apple from a bowl of fruit on the counter.

"Prom?"

"Seriously, you don't get sarcasm, do you? Is it like some foreign concept to Brits? I thought you people were all about the dry, sarcastic humor. False advertising, man."

Loki watched as she flopped onto the couch, lounging and taking up almost the entire thing. He strode over and sat down near her feet- the only vacant spot in the room cluttered by scientific reports and articles.

"What is your name?" Loki glanced down at the short brunette.

"Darcy. You can call me Darce, Dee, or Darcy. Or Lashondra, but that's for special occasions only."

"And you may call me Loki, 'Luke'," he blinked at the name, "or Your Majesty."

"See?" she nudged his thigh with her foot, "You're starting to get the hang of the whole sarcasm thing."

They sat- or in Darcy's case, laid- on the couch watching TV until well after the sun had gone down. It was then that Darcy got a call from a friend and left, promising to not be long.

Two hours later, she returned. But rather than come inside, she stood in front of the lab staring through the front windows. Loki noticed her, and after a few moments of eye contact, Darcy walked off toward the desert. Confused, the tall, raven-haired man left and followed her.

She stopped at the top of a small pile of sand, her back to him, and he kept his distance.

"Is something wrong?"

"Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color. You talk like you're from a different time. You don't eat or drink anything, and you don't go out in sunlight." Loki stood behind her, his expression asking _And your point is…?_ but he said nothing.

"I know what you are." Darcy claimed.

"Say it," Loki commanded. "Out loud. Say it."

Darcy stood, inhaling shaky breaths.

"Vampire."

Loki blinked, "What?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"You're a vampire," she turned to face him. He stood there, dumbfounded. From all the things she could have claimed him to be, he would have never guessed vampire.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah that's just what a vampire would say."

"I'm not a vampire.

"So what are you? Cuz you're sure as hell not a normal person." No one who was that inept at sarcasm could be human.

"I'm an Aesir."

"And that's a kind of vampire, right?"

"No, it's nothing like a vampire."

"God dammit," she muttered. "I was all excited and everything." She collapsed to sit on the pile of sand.

"You wanted me to be a vampire?"

"Well yeah. I mean, who doesn't have fantasies about vampires?"

"So you were fantasizing about me?" Loki smirked, striding forward smoothly.

"No!" she nearly yelled, "Just…If you were a vampire, then I might've."

Loki knelt in front of Darcy, crawling over her and causing her to lay down on the sand, "I could always pretend if you'd like," he whispered against her neck. Darcy's widened and her pace quickened until she thought her head would explode. This guy was extremely attractive- definitely the classy bad boy type- and he was practically lying on top of her.

"I…Uh…"

"Something tells me you'd like that very much?" his voice was soft and low, like silk running across her brain.

"Are you _sure_ you're not a vampire?"

"Quite positive," he purred.

"Well then no thanks," she shoved Loki off of her and sat up, dusting off her hands. Loki stared at her, baffled.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, not that you're not attractive or anything, but I'm just going through a bit of a phase and I'm afraid nothing other than a vampire can fix it. Thanks for the offer, though," Darcy stood, dusting the sand off of her pants and jacket, and walked back toward the lab. Loki remained sitting on the ground, staring at her as she shrank into the distance.

"Passed over because I'm a god and not some lowly, mortal creation?" he gaped, voicing his confusion. "I've been passed over in favor of _Thor_, sure, but never because I wasn't some sharp-toothed, immoral monster."

"Well you are a monster," a Loki, identical to the original, had appeared next to him on the sand.

"Oh god I've done it again."

"You really need to learn to control yourself. It's been a while since you've accidentally created a clone."

"I'm aware, thank you."

"Of course. Listen, if you want to talk about it, I know how you feel. She makes us a bit nervous, you can admit it."

"I am not nervous."

"Then why are our hearts beating so rapidly?"

"Because I'm frustrated, that's all."

"Yes, frustrated that she doesn't want us?"

"No," Loki hissed at his clone.

"Come on. Give us a kiss." The clone held his arms wide, waving Loki toward him with his fingers and batting his eyelashes.

"Shut up," Loki threw some sand at the clone, which dissolved into thin air. He looked back at the lab and could see Darcy in one of the windows. Was that her bedroom? It looked like it. It had a bed, just big enough for two people, but much smaller than the one Loki had in Asgard. Was Darcy getting ready for bed? She was peeling off the outer layers of her clothing- her jacket and a sweater- leaving her in just jeans and a tank top. The jeans were soon removed and Loki stared at her body. He felt his cheeks flush and a feeling of guilt and exhilaration crept through him. It was just like back in Asgard, when he and Thor were younger and they'd occasionally spied on some of the girls.

Loki blinked and looked away, clearing his throat. He may not be the most morally upright character, but he had certainly left his peeping schoolboy days behind him. He would only stare at Darcy undressing if she was aware that he was there.

He returned to the lab and went to his room after staring at Darcy's door for a few moments.

Loki awoke the next day, while the sun was shining but held at bay by the curtains of his room, and showered quickly. He dressed, his hair still damp, and walked into the kitchen to find Darcy drinking coffee.

"Well, you're up during daylight hours so I guess you really aren't a vampire. Dammit," she mumbled. Loki ignored the comment and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What on earth are you drinking?"

"Coffee. Want some? It's pretty dang good," she pour another cup, mixed in some English Almond Toffee creamer and set it down in front of Loki. He picked up the mug and sniffed it for a moment.

"This smells amazing."

"It tastes better," she nodded. Loki took a small sip to find that she was right. In a matter of seconds he drank the entire cup and was immediately at the coffee maker, pouring more. But this time he didn't bother with creamer, drinking it black. Darcy stared- most people didn't take their coffee black, and very little of those that did were able to start out drinking it black.

"Wow."

"Oh my Odin, this is fantastic. I feel amazing. Everything feels amazing!" Loki turned, beaming. His green eyes were a lighter shade. "I need to run!" He sprinted past Darcy, bursting out the front door of the lab and running down the street, with Darcy trailing after him.

"Dude! Wait up! What are you doing?"

"This is amazing!" he laughed, arms spread wide as he barreled down the sidewalk. "I feel so happy!"

And that's when he ran into the street.

Darcy gasped, covering her mouth as a silver Toyota Camry hit Loki, throwing him over the roof and back, and he landed on the concrete. But rather than lay there injured, Loki bounced up right away, laughing.

"That was fantastic! I want to do it again!" he ran off, through the street, weaving through traffic like a child imitating an airplane.

By the time Darcy caught up to him, he was laying six feet away from the side of the road, a few miles outside of Puento Antiguo.

"I don't feel so good," he groaned.

"Ya think it has something to do with you being hit by a car?" she leaned down and grabbed his arms, pulling him to his feet. His body went limp and he collapsed on top of her, almost causing her to fall to the ground.

"Seriously, no more coffee for you. I don't need to be chasing you around the desert for hours." And it had been _hours_. After leaving town, Loki had ran weaving through cacti and tumbleweeds, and at one point had run in obvious circles. He said something about making a tornado, like his big brother. It had been rather endearing to watch, like a six foot man-child or something. But the sun was already in the early stages of setting, and Darcy didn't want to be in the desert after dark.

So she found herself practically carrying Loki back to the lab.

"This is so not fair. Tomorrow, I'm gonna get you back for this."

They arrived at the lab and Darcy was exhausted. She refused to carry him to his bedroom, as that meant walking further while straining under his weight, so she dropped him onto the couch. She took the time to make sure his legs were straightened and he looked as comfortable as one could be on a couch, and grabbed a blanket to lay over him. But afterwards she felt like the walking dead.

"Well, even if you're not a vampire, I'm sleeping here tonight." Darcy pulled the blanket aside just enough to scoot underneath, close to Loki. She was extremely warm from dragging him home, and found his icy hand and placed it on her forehead.

"Yeah, that's nice," she mumbled. Loki was already fast asleep, his breath coming in deep and even inhales and exhales. Darcy herself was so tired that she barely noticed when Loki's hand moved from her forehead to wrap around her waist, pulling her slightly closer to him.

In the morning, Darcy woke up first, With Loki partially on top of her. She wiggled out from under him, falling to the floor, but quickly stood and adjusted her clothes before heading to the bathroom to shower and dress.

When Loki woke up, Darcy was back in the kitchen drinking more coffee. Loki strode over to the coffee maker, but Darcy smacked his hands when he reached for the pot.

"How dare-"

"I am _not_ dragging your ass back home tonight, dude."

"Excuse me?"

"You had two cups of coffee yesterday and you were like a kindergartner on acid. What the hell was that? You ran around the desert for _five hours_."

"I wanted to run," he stated blankly, blinking at her.

"Yeah well not today," she took the pot and poured the coffee down the sink, ignoring Loki's small whine of protest. He pouted, but she ignored him. "You can have juice or something instead." Loki frowned and sat at the table, throwing his own kind of temper tantrum.

"But hey," Darcy began, "I guess you've proven that you're not a vampire. Cuz if you were, you wouldn't have had the coffee."

"So tell me exactly why you're in a…vampire phase?"

"I blame Twilight."

"What does the time of day have to do with-"

"No, it's a book. About a girl. And vampires."

"And it causes you to want a vampire?"

"Oh honey it causes millions of girls and moms to want vampires."

"But vampires are monsters."

"To some people. The way I see it, vampires drink blood, without it they die. You can't really hate something for surviving, can you? I mean sure most vampires go about it the wrong way, but there are some that do it right. Like Angel, he drinks animal blood. Same with the Twilight vampires. Well, the main Twilight vampires. That aren't the antagonists."

"But they're still monsters."

"All a matter of perspective, dude. Like, there are normal humans who brutally torture and kill other people, but there's nothing supernatural about them. Those are monsters. All the supernatural creatures, they're just trying to get by."

Loki thought for a moment. "So what's your opinion on someone who does bad things?"

"What do you mean, like stealing candy from babies bad or robbing banks bad?"

"Hypothetically, if someone were to cause what was to be his brother's most important day to be ruined, and then tricked him into getting cast out by the father, all so he could prove he was just as worthy of the father's love as said brother, what would that make him?"

"Hmm," Darcy paused. "Well, I guess the guy's intentions weren't completely bad. Like you're saying he just wanted to be loved by the dad, right? Like equal with the brother? Well that's not necessarily bad. The way he went around doing it sure isn't good, though. But hey, I'm not really one to talk. One time I hijacked my sister's study tapes- she listens to recordings of notes while she sleeps so she does better on tests- and replaced them with kiddy songs. She flunked. Didn't change how my parents treated me, though. If anything, it made them more pissed at me."

"That sucks."

"I know."


End file.
